More tests.

Emma's still in the NICU. Her last spell was about 4:30 today. She had a few tests today and is having the ph probe done tomorrow. Hopefully she'll start doing better soon so she can come home. Not much going on.

We took the kids to Disneyland today. They had a blast. Lily was able to go on the cars for the first time today. It was an all around nice day.

Still having spells.

Emma won't be coming home today either. She had 5 spells yesterday and apparently has already had a few this morning. They are going to do an x-ray just to make sure everything is clear. Also they're going to do a head sonogram to clear her of any brain bleeding. If all that comes out normal and she is still having spells of the decreased heartrate and desaturations of her oxygen level then they will order a ph probe to trest the acid level in her stomach to see if she is having reflux issues causing the spells. The probe goes down her throat and into her stomach and is done for 24 hours. Last time she had it done she was about 3 lbs and managed to pull it out, so aside from a straight jacket I'm not really sure how they'll be able to do it. Lets just hope she behaves herself so she can come home sooner. If she is having reflux issues than they will start her on meds. I'm about to leave to go feed her. Poor baby.

A Little Update

Emma won't be coming home today. Unfortunately, she had a few pretty bad spells last night. The one at 3 a.m. required oxygen. She has to go 24 hours without a spell to come home again. So for now, we play the waiting game.

Surgery today

12:25 p.m.- So far we’ve been doing a lot of hurrying up and waiting. Emma has not eaten since 7 a.m. and is not real pleased about it. Sean has finally gotten her asleep for now. She was admitted at 10 a.m. They sent us upstairs to the pro-op area. However, the NICU was waiting for her and shortly after getting upstairs we were sent back downstairs. She was weighed and is now weighing 7 lbs. 7 oz. She had an I.V. put in. It took awhile to get a correct blood pressure reading since she was screaming and screaming.

Sean and I are hanging in here. Barely. It’s rough to be back here. We never thought we’d have to come back here and are flooded with memories. The smell of the NICU is making me neasous. I don’t want to be here but I don’t want to leave Emma either. Hopefully, the surgery will be sooner rather than later. She was “added in” so she will have it whenever they can fit her in today. It can be right at 1:30 or as late as 7 p.m. We’re hoping that she comes out of surgery well and doesn’t have any breathing issues afterwards.

The best outcome for the surgery is that it will stop the progression of the ROP and we can work on ‘fixing” the damage at a later point in time.

2:00 p.m.- Still waiting for the OR to open up. Emma’s I.V. was occluded so it had to be restarted. She is starting to settle down and sleep a bit. We’ll start the drops to dilate her eyes when the OR calls.

3:30 p.m.- The OR called. The drops were put in and her eyes are dilated. We’ve talked to both her optometrist and her anesthesiologist and signed the consent forms. It’s real. This is happening. I’m starting to get really antsy and just want it over with. We called our pastor to meet us here to pray over Emma before she heads into surgery.

4:15 p.m.- They prepped her for surgery and put her on the warming table. She looked so innocent and tiny! Our pastor managed to make it just in the nick of time to pray with us. We then walked her to the OR and let them wheel her in. We both managed to choke back our tears and try not to think about it and instead joked with the pastor.

We’re expecting the surgery to take about an hour but with time to put her under and bring her back they’re expecting about 2 hours. Sean just left to go get Lily from the babysitter. He’s going to take her home and call around to see who can come stay with Lily so he can come back and be here for when Emma gets out of surgery.

6:30 p.m.- Dr. Mehta just came out and let me know the surgery went well. The tried to extubate her but she was holding her breath so they reintubated her. He said she was doing very well though. She was back in the NICU being stabilized. Before we were able to go see her she ended up pretty much pulling out her ventilator and did just fine. I guess she just needed to wake up from being put under a little bit more. She is weak but doing well. I will probably be heading back at 9 for a feeding and then coming home to get some rest. We are exhausted!

Here are some pictures from today’s events.

Waiting for Surgery

Pre-Op

Post-Op

Going for Surgery

Unfortunately, today's optometry appointment didn't go so hot. IT seems as though emma's ROP has progressed to threashold disease (Stage 3 ROP). She is scheduled for surgery on friday. We go in at 10 a.m. for her to be admitted back into the NICU. She cannot nurse after 6 a.m. The surgery will be sometime after 1:30 p.m. and may be as late as 7 p.m. UGGH. She will NOT ne happy. She will be put under and intubated. There is a chance that she may have trouble coming out of the anestesia or have issues with apnea once again. She most likely will come home on saturday unless of course she is not stable. If she's not stable then she'll stay until she is. The surgery will not fix what damage is already done it will simply keep it from progressing any further. If this works than she'll need glasses. If it doesn't work she can go blind.

No Change

Well, Emma has no change in her eyes. We go back again in a week to check again. Apparently there was a bit of concern on whether the right eye was starting to get worse or not, but he said it was a fine line so for now he'll call it no change. Emma is turning into quite the pistol lately. She cries. Alot. I think she is now turning into my hardest of all 3 kids. She starts crying and just won't stop. She likes to use me as a pacifier (which my other kids did too). In the evenings she cries and cries. We're thinking she might have colic. And yes, we've ruled out numerous other things. Other than that she's doing great though. She saw the occupational therapist last week and she said she's right on track and even ahead in some things. That's good news. She's getting bigger by the day and really starting to "feel" heavy. She's also definitely filling out and looking more and more like Caden did as a baby.

Long Time, No post.

I know, I know. I've been bad about posting. Life has been hectic. I attended a Doula (Paid Labor assistant) workshop down in San Diego last weekend. It was 3 long, tiring, intensive days. It was interesting. I am going toward my doula certification so thi was one step closer. Emma went with me while the kids stayed home with Dad. She enjoyed every minute of all the girls wanting to her.

Speaking of Emma, She is up to 6 lbs. 1 oz! Just a tad smaller than caden was at birht (6lbs. 12 oz.). He rlabs FINALLY came back normal at 8.2. She is also working hard to make red blood cells and her labs showed that as well. No more visits to the pediatrician until her 4 month visit where she will get her 4 month vaccines.

Emma saw the eye doctor again. Still stage 2 ROP. Still praying it doesn't progress. She has another check next wednesday. Hopefully, it will be regressing. We shall see.

Other than that not a whole lot going on with her. She is acting more like a normal newborn. She likes to be awake at night. Wants to be held constantly. Wants to eat right when my hot plate of food is set down in front of me. :)

As for the other two. They're doing ok. Caden has gotten a referral to the autism clinic to evaluate him for autism. We're thinking he may be high functioning/aspergers. If not he's just brilliant, but there are some little "cadenisms" that are just a bit "off". So we'll see what happens with that.

I will try and update more regularly but with the doula gig and being a "full time" mom again with no nanny it may be a bit less often than before.

Just hanging out!

Disclaimer: No baby was harmed in the making of this photograph. Do not try this at home it may result in too much cuteness for one household.

Just when I thought we were in the clear...

Emma had another eye exam. The last eye exam showed that her Stage 1 ROP (retinopathy of prematurity) was slowly starting to regress. Well, today showed a completely different story. Emma has progressed completely to stage 2 almost 3. She will be checked again in a week. If she progresses to stage 3 then she will have laser surgery done. Hopefully this will keeop it from progressing any further. Stage 3 is where blindness and SEVERE vision problems happen. If for some reason lasering doesn't stop it ands it ontinues to progress than she will have full on surgery. The laser procedure has some risks including drop in heartrate, blood pressure, and opxygen saturation. Apparently it is not too uncommon to jave breathing issues during and/or after the procedure in infants as small as she is and there is a chance she will need to be put back on a ventilator or oxygen for some time afterwards. We're just praying at this point that none of that has to happen. Aside from her eyes she has another wieght check and blood culture tomorrow. Hopefully her levels haven't dropped any and she's gaining weight. We'll see. On a good note, her original due date is TOMORROW! She was born exactly 3 months early so she will be 3 months old tomorrow! My how the time has flown by!!!

E X H A U S T E D

It's 2:15 a.m. I've been up since 1 a.m. I woke up to Emma's angelcare monitoring alarming. I checked on her and she appeared fine and the alarm only sounded a second. I went back to sleep. About 3 minutes later it sounded again. This time it alarmed for longer. I checked her again and she was doing rapid breathing movements which is indicative that she may have had a spell and was self resolving and breathing rapidly to make up for it. I turned on the lights changed her diaper, fed her. After about 2 ounces (she's up to about 3 ounces a feeding) I went to burp her and she puked ALL over me. UGGHH. She also pooped again. So I changed her and resumed feeding her. She ate another ounce and is now back in her bed. I'm awake but exhausted. Afraid to sleep in case she stops breathing. I can't/won't wake Sean since he's sick and praying that Emma isn't getting sick and hoping that the events of the night are all just pure coincidences. So, I'm up pumping and about to try and get some rest. We'll see how that goes!

Calgon take me away

It's been one of those where I wonder how and why I do it. Caden has been "resistant" all dsay long. I could say the sky was blue and he would argue its not. Nothing I say is right and "no" seems to be the only word he understands. To top it off Sean and Lily are both sick. I am exhausted and praying Emma doesn't get sick. After a long day we were just about to put the kids in bed. Had them in their jammies and we walk into the kids room and Caden had found some orange paint (not sure where he got it from) and it was ALL over the carpet in their walk in closet. It didn't come out well, but i'm too tired to scrub harder. We threw him in the tub and went to cleaning. While we were cleaning Lily decided she needed a bath too and we found her fully dressed in the tub with Caden splashing away. it was too much not to laugh. So it's been one of those days, and I'm ready for bed...

Doctor visit update.

Not good news, not exceptionally bad either. Her labs came back., She dropped from 8.2 down to 7.8. Her body is showing signs of trying to make more blood cells though so at this time they won't transfuse. If her color starts to turn pale, or her heart starts beating faster to make up for it, showing signs of distress than they will.

She is up to 4 lbs 11 oz. Still not gaining as fast as they would like. They want me to supplement 2 feedings a day with neosure 22 calorie formula. I am not thrilled about this but I'll do what I have to do. Guess daddy can take on another night feeding! LOL. They are trying to find a way to get me some human milk fortifier to add those extra 2 calories per ounce. We'll see what they can do. She goes back for labs and another doctor visit on friday. Hopefully, there will be better news.

Emma's 1st professional pictures

Re-Birthing

Yep, you read it right. Tonight, Emma went through the process of re-birthing. Essentially, you get in a tub of warm water with the baby,you set the baby in your lap or tummy stroke the baby gently, talk to the baby in a soothing voice and let the baby slowly make its way to the breast. This creates an atmosphere close to a water birth. It is supposed to "erase" any trauma from birth or effects from trauma at birth and also help breastfeeding issues.

So Emma and I hopped in the tub. She got SO comfortable she was fallinng asleep. I brought her to my breast and she rooted until she latched on, without a shield!!! She nursed beautifully in the tub, skin to skin for a good 20 minutes. I was so amazed. I was skeptical of the whole process but it seems to have worked. She has NEVER nursed that well without a shield on my LEFT side (she hates my left side and has only latched on once before without a shield). We got out after nursing, dressed her and she is sleeping soundly.

After church today we went to train days in Fullerton. They had an amtrack train, the original disneyland train and tons of model trains there. We spent about 4 hours there. Caden LOVED the model trains. I think it might be something fun for him and daddy to get into together. Unfortunately, I forgot the camera. :(

Tomorrow Emma has a recheck on her bloodwork and her weight. Hopefully all is well. She has been eating at least 3 ounces a feeding so she should be good to go. Her color looks great and she is peeing fine. So all looks good. Let's hope the lab results show the same.

For all the Emma Fans

I thought I would update sooner rather than later. Emma continues to do well. She successfully nursed without the nipple shield today on both sides. I will just continue to attempt it with each feeding and eventually we'll get there.

Caden and Lily can't get enough of the baby. They give her lots of love and kisses. We've even caught Lily wandering around the house while Emma is sleeping looking for her and saying "baaaahhh" Which is what she calls the baby.

Nights are going...alright. We're left tired in the morning though. Emma likes to eat and then not go back to sleep at her 1 a.m. feeding. We're thinking she is still used to the NICU schedule. They used to do her bath and weight and then feed at 1 a.m. So she is used to being up a bit longer. Mommy and Daddy are not. Last night Emma ended up sleeping on Daddy's chest since daddy needed rest.

All in all things ontinue to go well. She has her bloodwork again on monday to check her anemia. Hopefully she has gained some wieght and her levels are going up and not down.

Just a quick "we're alive" update.

Life is hectic. The days have been filled with eye appointments, dr. appointments and blood tests for anemia b/c she did eat for 8 hours straight, home health visits, rescheduleing occupational therapy visits. I swear every day theres a new appointment to go to or reschedule b/c of a different appointment. I'm worn out. LOL.

Emma's eyes are doing well the Stage 1 ROP is beginning to regress. She has another appointment to check its regression in 2 weeks. It appears that her eyes will be JUST fine. YAY!

On wednesday, Emma hadn't eaten for a few feedings and was rather lethargic. After her eye appointmen we ended up taking her to the ped. They ran some blood tests. She is still anemic and her hematocrit went down very slightly, but "nothing to get worked up about" yet. After her blood draw she decided to eat REALLY well for about 30 minutes. Guess she's just like any other kid. She shaped right up once we saw the doctor.

Today was her home health visit (also my very first day alone with the kids, no hubby, no nanny.) She is up to 4 lbs. 9 oz. She is doing well. Looks great. Nothing really to report. No news is good news in this case.

The kids are adoring her. They give her LOTS of kisses. Lily says "BAAA" for baby. It's really cute. She has aquired the nickname "Chimi" for chimichanga since she's always swaddled like a burrito since she can't quite regulate her temperature well enough not to be. The kids (yes, all 3 of them) took a bath together night before last. Maybe I'm crazy, but they seemed to enjoy it. Emma likes her "safer bather" bath pillow thing and fell asleep while the older ones splashed. Bathtime ended though when Lily got soap in her eyes and Caden dumped a cup of water all over mama. LOL.

Here are a few more pics of the past week home. The updates will be further spread out now that she is home. I will update at least once a week though. Enjoy.

Emma's first bath at home

I'm lovin' it!

I am totally loving having all 3 of my babies home with me. Caden loves his new baby sister and has announced that we should have another sister for him. We kindly explained that any baby brothers or sisters will not be coming for quite some time and another baby or sister might not happen ever. His response, "Ok."

We have figured out that Lily is not so much jealous over the baby. She just WANTS the baby. She wants to be right where the baby is no matter WHO is holding the baby, or what. She wants to hold the baby (until she cries, then she gets upset and cries). She is constantly giving hugs, trying to pick up (don't worry we're right there with her watching her like a hawk), giving kisses and all around just loving on the baby. We're trying to teach her to be gentle with her "petting".

Emma is fitting in nicely in our home. The nights are tiring, but she sleeps except for her feedings (promptly every 3 hours). She sleeps most of the day as well. She is awake currently "playing" with the kids and the train tracks. We wrpped her up and put her in one of the kid's toy bins. She fits perfectly and is confined. She can smoewhat sit propped up in it and seems to be content. (Picture will follow tonight when I have more time). Other than that there is not much going on. She has a bunch of doctor appointment next week. An eye apppointment, pediatrician, occupational therapist, etc. Until monday we plan on just hanging out at home and enjoying our family.

She's home!!!

After 9 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour, and 34 minutes we brought Emma home. I can't believe she is FINALLY home. She looks great. Lily is pretty jealous and cranky so we're hopoing in a few days she'll get used to having another baby around. I'm sure we'll all be tired for awhile, but the wait was definitely worth it. No more night drives to the nicu. No more wires. No more alarms. YAY! Here are some of the highlights of her coming home.

Still Waiting...

Of course out of all days for Emma's doctor to be in a meeting until noon it HAD to be today. LOL. So we'll be heading back to the nicu 1:00 p.m. pacific time. It's is 99.9 percent this time that she will come home. She had her pictures taken this morning. I will try and scan that this afternoon. For now we play the waiting game. It was funny. Leaving the nicu earlier this morning was bittersweet. I looked at Sean and said this is the last time we are leaving here without our baby. It is all too surreal. I haven't shed tears yet, but I know they're coming. Once again thank you for all of your loving support, kind words, good thoughts, and prayers through all of us. They were much needed and much appreciated. We couldn't have done it alone. For that I will be forever grateful.